Wednesday, October 8, 2014

No More Che

Tomorrow, October 9th, is No More Che Day. Its the day when that ruthless piece of shit received justice. It disgusts me that to this day people idolize that bastard. He murdered thousands of innocent Cubans. And also murdered tons of foreigners. The liberal media hails him as a revolutionary hero. That is far from the truth. He was a racist, communist pig who executed innocent people without any type of trial. He made numerous statements against blacks and yet idiots like Jay Z wear his face on a shirt. The world is a better place without Che Guevara. But it will be an even better place when the Castro's leave this earth. Because they play a huge part in the brainwashing of people. They brainwash people into believing lies about Che. The truth is plain and simple. Che was and always be a filthy communist murderer. And tomorrow we will celebrate that he is no longer able to kill anyone else. He is dead. Nothing will ever take away the pain and anguish that he has caused the Cuban people. But at least he is not walking this earth anymore.The world has been a better place without him. And tomorrow, we celebrate freedom. Freedom from a mass murderer who destroyed countless lives and families.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Labor and Delivery

I thought i would do a blog post about my experience with labor and delivery. I'll make it easy and go in the order that everything happened. Being a first time mom, and never taking classes in labor or delivery, i was unprepared for how painful it could get. I was also unprepared for any complications.


My contractions started at 1am on June 10th. It didnt hurt that bad at first. I didnt realize they were contractions until they got more powerful. I took some tylenol thinking that i had ate something bad and it was a stomach virus. Tylenol didnt do shit. At first, the contractions were every 15 mins. By 7am, they were every 5 minutes. I didnt sleep at all that night. Around 11am i went to L&D and they hooked me up and verified that they were contractions and that i was 3cm dialated. But apparently i wasnt in active labor because my water hadnt broke yet. They had me walk around the halls for 2 hours to get me dilated more. I was in so much pain that i cheated and went in to the family waiting room for 45 mins and laid down accross the chairs. I was starving and the only thing i could eat were ice chips. When i went back for them to check i was 5cm. They admitted me after that. I spent the next couple hours focusing on breathing during contractions and deciding when to get the epidural. By 6pm, i was yelling in pain. The anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. It took awhile but was well worth it. I was almost numb from the waist down. I was able to talk on the phone and sleep a little. Then around 11pm, i started having pains again. The epidural was wearing off and i begged for more. They gave me the minimum that they could because i was 8 cm and they had already broke my water. The second epidural shot kindnof scared me cause i couldnt move anything below my waist.


By 3am, i was fully dilated and was being told to push like i was having a bowel movement. Problem was, is that i couldnt feel anything. I was pushing to the best of my ability. My bp went so high that it terrified me. And the babys heartbeat would go down every time i pushed. They called the anestheseologist in case i needed a c-section. A nurse came in and had me pull on a towel while i pushed. That helped push the baby to where her head was visible. They asked if i wanted to feel her head. I said no cause it would have freaked me out. Lol. 3 more pushes and i felt pressure and she was out. She had alot of fluid still in here so they worked to get it out then she started crying. I cant put into words what i felt when i heard her cry for the first time. I couldnt believe my baby was finally here. They took her away to clean her and then brought her back.

I thought that the delivery went fine until they said i had a major tear and they brought in 2 specialists to decide what course to take. They decided that i had a 3rd degree tear which is very bad. My entire perinium and part of my anal sphincter tore. And they also caught two more tears. The perinium tear took 17 stitches. It took them an hour and a half to finish sewing me up and i held my baby for most of it. I was still numb, thank God. I was told i lost more blood than a normal delivery. That explains why i almost passed out while going to the bathroom a couple hrs later. Im thankful though cause things could have been alot worse. Its a painful recovery and im dealing with a possible infection in my urethra. Hopefully simple medicine can solve it.

Im not going to say labor and delivery are easy, but having the epidural helped alot. I cant imagine the pain i would have felt when i tore. Or the pain when she came out. At one point right before i had to push, i broke down crying. I was terrified. I was scared of something going wrong. My poor mom didnt know what to do. She had never seen me like that before. It scared her. When i got home, she cried about it. I am thankful for the wonderful nurse that reassured me everything would be ok. She was so nice and comforting and she said i was in good hands. That helped alot. I wasnt ready for the emotional and mental toll that labor and delivery had on me. It took 26 hours from my first contraction to birth. It was a long day and night. But i had the most beautiful babu come out of it all. It feels so weird calling myself a mom. Lol. I have so much more i want to write but i just realised this post is about L&D so i will have to do another post about everything else.

Hopefully this post doesnt scare anyone from having a baby. Lol. As long as you get the epidural you will be fine. :-) But i can honestly say i dont think i will have another baby for a very long time. Im almost 28 so i still have my 30's to have another if God decides to bless me again. Writing this post has been very therapeutic. Especially since my anxiety is full force now. Writing is always therapeutic for me and i hope that someone can read this and think the same.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Pregnancy and Respect

I would say out of everything in my pregnancy that has made me depressed or anxious, nothing has compared to what was said to me today at the hospital. I woke up in the morning to blood and cramping. Im 39 weeks. My doctor went over all of the things to go to the hospital for at my last appointment. Bleeding was on the list. So was cramping. So as soon as I saw blood, I freaked out. I went straight to the closest hospital which wasn't the one my doctor is at. And I forgot to call my doctor first. I admit that probably wasn't smart on my part, but then again, I was BLEEDING!!!!!!!!! I also hadn't felt the baby kicking. She normally kicks all morning while im trying to sleep and I felt no movements at all. So I panicked and went straight to the hospital. As a first time mom and this being my first pregnancy, I was not aware that I absolutely had to go to the exact hospital where my doctor was. If I would have known that, I would have gone. The hospital I went to is literally a 3 minute drive. That's why I went there today. I didn't want to waste any time at all if something was wrong.

Telling me once that I should have gone to my doctors hospital should have been enough. But apparently for the nurses and doctors, that was the main thing they focused on. They flat out told me that bleeding wasn't an emergency. They also told me that unless the baby's arm was sticking out of my vagina, to not come back there. I was thinking that I was doing the right thing by going to the nearest hospital for what most pregnant women and doctors would consider to be an emergency. Bleeding and cramping at 39 weeks either signals the body preparing for labor or something wrong. I have horrible anxiety so of course I'm going to freak out.

This visit there today reminded me why I didn't want to have my prenatal care there. I made a huge mistake by going today. I should have went to the hospital my doctor is at. Not only because my records are there, but because they would have realized I was scared and understood my concern about bleeding. They would have treated me with respect. The red flag should have went up for me when I saw the nurses in the department standing and texting on their phones and commenting on the fact that they didn't have a lot of babies to take care of in there. Given the fact of how many babies are being born in this city and pregnant women, I should have known not to go there. This particular hospital has a horrible reputation and apparently it hasn't changed. And what's worse is that it is a Catholic hospital. I thought that I would be receiving good care and respect and didn't.

The way I was spoken to made me feel like a horrible mother. It made me feel like I wasn't doing anything right. Health professionals need to understand that showing respect goes a long way with patients. I learned my lesson this time. I will not go back to that hospital under any circumstances. I don't trust them. Telling a pregnant woman that bleeding is not an emergency is crazy. Part of me wants to file a complaint but then another part of me wonders if that would be overreacting. I don't know.

They didn't even tell me an exact cause of the bleeding. Just speculation. My cervix is 25 % effaced (thinned out) and I can have some bleeding from that. I'm still not dilated but at least now I know my body is preparing for labor now. I have my next appointment on Wednesday which will be my last before I am overdue. All I want is to hold my baby in my arms. I can't wait until she is here. Hopefully my horomones will level out afterwards and I wont get so upset about everything.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The World We Live In.............

I haven't been blogging as much lately. Honestly, I haven't had the drive to. Everything in the news is depressing.

There are still tons of dissidents being arrested in Cuba and imprisoned. And all the world seems to care about is whether or not to lift the embargo. Lifting the embargo will not prevent dissidents from being imprisoned. It wont make Cuba free. Everyones attention should be on the dissidents who are being beaten and jailed on a daily basis in Cuba. The human rights violations are getting worse there and more people need to pay attention.

Venezuela is also getting worse. Leopoldo Lopez is still imprisoned and obviously, the Cuban government are playing a huge role in helping Maduro oppress the people of Venezuela. And of course, just like the oppression in Cuba, the mainstream media continues to ignore the human rights violations in Venezuela.

It has been 25 years since the Tiananmen Square massacre happened. It was and still continues to be a very sad day in history. The Chinese government tries to pretend it all never happened. They cant fool the whole world. It will forever be a part of their dark history. China still continues to oppress its people.

And on the home front, we have a traitor who was traded for 5 terrorists in a prisoner swap. And I say traitor because that's exactly what he is. If you walk away from your camp on purpose and don't come back then you are a traitor. He sent messages to his parents that he was ashamed to be an American. I know all the facts aren't out, but this is my opinion. Soldiers that he was stationed with even said they believed he walked away and deserted them. There were soldiers who died while trying to find him. At the very least, he should issue an apology. We have had many POW's whom our government never negotiated for. So why is this one the exception? We cannot send the message to our enemy that we negotiate with them.

These are just a few of the things that have really pissed me off and get under my skin.

With all that said,  I have hope that things will get better in the world. If and only if we start paying attention to everything. Starting with all of the human rights abuses that are going on in the world today.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Next Generation of Cuban Gringas

My beautiful baby girl Selena Inez will be here next month. Im excited and scared of being a mommy. I will be responsible for teaching her everything. Teaching her values, morals, discipline, love, etc. The list is endless.

But one of the things i will also teach her, is Cuba's struggle for freedom. Even though she has no Cuban heritage like me, she will be raised learning about Cuba.

When i teach her about the Ladies in White, she will learn about courage, love, sacrifice, compassion, dignity. When i teach her about the plight of Cuban exiles she will learn about the history of Cuba and how evil communism is. She will learn how to love and respect different cultures and people.

I hope she will have the love for Cuba like I do. I hope she will be involved in human rights activism. And i hope she will get to visit a free Cuba in her lifetime.

I will do my best inside of me with all the strength i have to raise her right. To stand up and speak out for those who are oppressed. She will be the next generation of Cuban Gringa's. We desperately need more of them.

¡Viva Cuba Libre!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

29 Weeks

Time is flying by. 29 weeks pregnant with 11 weeks to go. I'm scared, nervous and excited at the same time. I'm scared of the uncertainty of what's to come. Scared something could go wrong. I know God is in control but its still hard. Just praying I go full term and the baby will be ok.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Baby Bump

19 Weeks and Counting.....

Tomorrow will make 19 weeks of my pregnancy. I am almost halfway to having my baby. The past few weeks have been hard because I've been sick a lot. I am sick again now and on strong antibiotics. Most of my body's resources are going to the baby, therefore my body cannot fight infections as good as it used to. A simple cold turns into something much worse and lasts for a good two weeks. I can deal with the stuffed up sinuses, but the cough and chest congestion are horrible. It's hard to enjoy my second trimester when I've spent almost all of it so far being sick.

One good thing is that the subchorionic hematoma is gone. And the baby is doing fine and I can feel movements when I lay down and sometimes when I'm standing up. I'm hoping I will feel big movements soon. I hope the second half of my pregnancy is better than the first half. My stomach is growing fast now!!!!!

Baby #2

I havent written in quite awhile. Of course,  life is busy with a 4 year old. And now,  I find myself going through the process again. I am ...